As we awoke outside the Walmart, we started to fully understand that we had just slept in an RV in a Walmart parking lot. The only thing to do now was check out the great deals, so Roach and I ventured inside. Waking up without a shower and wearing last night’s clothes, I shuffled through the aisles of Walmart and finally began to internalize the great power of my newly earned college degree. All the preppy folk of Napa looked upon me with profound respect and I felt it.

We bought some supplies real quick and then headed to the town of Calistoga. A quaint town nestled in the heart of Napa Valley, it is home to an RV park with much-needed showers and also the Castello di Amorosa winery. Nas has had his eye on this particular winery for a long time. Upon our arrival, we came to understand why. It was no cabana, but instead a winery styled according to a 13th century castle, endowed with all the amenities that one would expect in a castle of that time period. Oh yeah, this place had great halls, torture chambers, chickens, a moat, the works. Wine stuff too i guess.

Nas couldn’t join us for the last picture because 13th-century-style castles aren’t particularly handicap-friendly. After touring the grounds a bit, we ventured to the tasting room to try out a few of the vineyard’s wines. At the square bar centered within the tasting room, a very Italian man ushered ZZtop, Nas, and me over to his area. I don’t mean this to speak toward the Italian people or those of Italian heritage, but the man looked like the one sneaky rodent that you can always pick out in a Disney movie. He oozed a creepy slyness and each wine he poured for us had a hint of laced arsenic. Looking past the arsenic, the wines were incredible. After we finished tasting, the Italian stared into my eyes, gave me a form to fill out, and asked me if I wanted to purchase a bottle of wine. But his question was more of an imminent fact than a question. So when I woke up from my drug-induced trance 8 minutes later, I was holding a bottle of Pinot Noir and driving the RV back to our campground.

The rest of our day was pure chill. Finally we had good weather to enjoy and we did just that.

All of us had not shaved our faces at all since Chicago because someone had the brilliant notion to drink wine in Napa with mustaches. So my first task after having returned from drinking wine in Napa was to remove the rug from my face.

Check out ZZTop’s baller ‘stache. I got rid of the mutton chops but it was a nice thought.

We spent the rest of the day throwing frisbees, enjoying cigars, and watching  Brickface beat Roach in chess. Actually, I should elaborate on the chess game.

Roach has spent the last few months, and this road trip in particular, voraciously reading chess books. Cause he’s chill like that. He’s become a passionate player, respects the integrity of the game, and most importantly loves to win. So when Brickface asked for a game, Roach saw his opportunity for an easy slaughter. After losing the first game in four moves, Geoffrey leaned over to me and asked me how to move the king.

Everyone counted him out for the rematch game, including myself. He spent roughly 10 minutes before making each move, so what resulted was a 2-and-a-half hour match of epic proportions. Each time Geoffrey was stumped, I would tell him that there was a good move to make, and he would respond by taking 15 minutes to find the exact move I was thinking of. As the match neared its grand conclusion, Roach angrily tossed aside the chess board knowing he lost to an amateur named Brickface who hasn’t seen a chess piece in 6 years. It may seem like an inconsequential board game, but if you know these guys well, you would understand why watching this board game has been the absolute highlight of my road trip.

Roach has sworn off chess. Tomorrow is our last full day with the RV. We’ll spend it in the great city of San Francisco, probably doing hipster things that you haven’t heard of.